The Heart of a Baboon

This past Sunday, Whitney and I went back to my house after a morning at Journey.  Per our usual routine, we ate lunch and then decided to sleep for an hour or so, because we are always exhausted.  Sometimes we fall asleep watching a lame movie.  Other times, I am too tired to even bother with the attempt of picking something to watch and instead grab a blanket and conk out.

Yesterday, I woke up (after sleeping for three hours) and checked my phone for what might be coming on TV that night.  We usually don’t watch that much television.  On Sunday night, we usually just watch the previous episode of The Office.  But for some reason I checked the listing anyway.

On the CW (you know – that network that no one watches) there was a showing of the 1993 cinematic treasure “Untamed Heart”.  This is a flick starring Marisa Tomei and Christian Slater.  I had never heard of it before so, like most movies I know nothing about, I turned to IMDB online.  There I saw this plot summary and read it aloud to Whitney after seeing how ridiculous it was.  Keep in mind, this is a plot summary written by someone who has seen it.  Thus, the amateur writing:

All of Caroline’s boyfriends seem to leave her or cheat on her. On her way home from work two men try to rape Caroline. An introverted man from her work, Adam, rescues her. Adam is an orphan and he is told that he’s got a baboon’s heart. Adam opens up to Caroline and together they make sense. Adam and Caroline are very happy together but the rapists try to get back at Adam and not everyone accepts an outcast like Adam.

Now, this was just not enough information.  So, like any good internet savvy person, I turned to Wikipedia for more answers.  There, the plot summary was similar:

Caroline (Tomei) is a young woman working as a waitress who is always unlucky in love. Adam (Slater) is a shy busboy who saves Caroline when two men try to rape her on her way home one night. She then gets to know him. They become close, but she finds out his past, and the attackers come after Adam for revenge. As their relationship progresses, Caroline discovers that Adam has a heart defect, though he claims he has a baboon heart.

At this point, Whitney says: “Oh – you mean he really has a baboon’s heart?”

I say: “Yes…that’s what it said…what did you think it meant?”

She says: “I thought it meant like…he had the heart of a baboon.  You know like he loves people with a baboon’s heart. Like the expression ‘heart of a lion’.”

At this point, I laughed.  A lot.  I think we spent the next 20 minutes laughing about it.  I thought of all the ways you might could say it to people.  For example, on Valentine’s Day you might say: “I love you with all the love of my baboon heart.” Or you might say of someone else, “You know, he’s a great guy.  He has the heart of a baboon for other people.”

We came up with other ways you might say it and then we questioned if baboons are actually loving creatures.  I recalled from watching Planet Earth that the chimps are actually quite mean – and sometimes even eat each other – far from the love a true baboon heart should express.

Later we went to her parent’s house and I read them the plot summary.  I then asked, “What do you think it means when it says he has a baboon’s heart?”

Their response: “That he has a baboon’s heart inside of him.”

Whitney was hoping that they would also see the veiled expression “heart of a baboon” as an character trait becoming of an individual, but they didn’t.

Next, we had to call my friend Kevin.  Kevin is one of my very good friends, and it is always a great danger and pleasure talking to him on the phone because we will spend about 90 minutes on the phone and nearly 60 of those minutes are spent in laughter, to the point it hurts…a lot.  So, I thought this would be a good question to ask him.

After reading the summary, I asked the same question: “What do you think it means when it says he has a baboon’s heart?”

Kevin:  “I guess, you know, like he has a great heart.  Like he has the heart of a baboon.  Though I’m not sure what that looks like.”

Whitney had found her kindred spirit on the matter at last.

We then relayed all that we had discussed on what it meant to have “the heart of a baboon”.

Kevin then told us about baboons he saw in Kenya some years ago:

“They were kind of cool.  They were just chilling in the towns and stuff, and along the road and it looked like they would just come on the bus with us and hitch a ride.  Except for when we threw them food.  Then they would beat each other up.  In those moments, I don’t think they were truly displaying the heart of a baboon.”

So, for good or bad, keep your baboon heart in check.

"I love you with the heart of a baboon."

Tik-Tok

Tik-Tok of Oz - The First Robot in Literature - Operated by an internal Winding Clock

I’ve included the above picture for a few reasons:

1) I first read Ozma of Oz (the book in which the character first appeared) when I was in third grade.

2) The fact he runs on a winding clock is important, because, you see, he must be wound every now and again to work.

3) The clock under which we are working to prepare for our wedding is coming fast.

4) Tik-Tok is winding down at a rapid pace.  Just 141 days left.

We are moving along pretty well now.  Every now and then, I look at the calendar, or count the weeks and freak out.  When you count in days, it’s not that overwhelming.  When you count in weeks, you realize it’s like a month in weeks.  Then you hyperventilate. Then you calm down.  And everything is okay.

We haven’t really registered for anything yet.  That’s okay.  We have an idea of what to register for…sort of.

We haven’t officially found an apartment.  That’s okay.  We have a few more months.

We haven’t really nailed down all the “stuff” for the wedding. Meh.

We have sort of finalized the guest list.  That was a painful but necessary process.

A lot has happened of course.  So, there’s a lot of progress to report.  But all of that is for an event.  Not really for a marriage, right?

So, I had this brilliant idea.  (I have them sometimes.)

I had this idea that we would “interview” different married couples at different stages or phases of their marriages.  We would consider things like, how long has a couple been married (several years, a few years), with kids, without kids, empty-nesters.  We would pick a few (say five or so) and meet up with them over the next few months and ask them some predetermined questions.

This experiment is still underway, but I thought it an interesting way to kind of get the “inside” scoop and at the same time compare and contrast what seems to be important to those early in marriage versus those who have been married for a while, or those who had older kids compared to younger kids.  How do perspectives change over time in marriage, or through circumstances, or other factors?  What if we could witness a few marriages in action that are all different, and what could we learn about marriage and each other in the process?

For now, I won’t say who we have asked (or are asking) or what questions we are asking.  (That would spoil it – spontaneous responses are best!)

So, as the date approaches, we are keeping in my mind what is beyond June 11th 2010. We are keeping in mind the life together that begins after “I do.”

In that way then, Tik-tok isn’t winding down to anything.  He’s still winding up.

And each day, until June 11th, we are simply giving the key a few more cranks.

Wedding Dreams of Wedding Nightmares

Five months later, the crazy wedding dreams strike again in full force.  You may have read my blog “Getting Married at McDonalds.”  If not, you can find it here.  Last night I had a dream that might be worse than saying my vows “and lovin’ it.” 

The dream started out perfectly…

It was our wedding day.  By “our,” I mean Aaron and myself of course.  Otherwise it would have really been a nightmare…

Anyway, in my dream, I walked down the aisle in a church I don’t recognize, and there was Aaron standing next to Jimmy.  Everyone else was kind of a blur, although I did hear Lisa Collier in the audience saying “Look how happy she is to see him!” 

I was happy to see him.  I could see my face in my dream and I could not stop smiling.  The ceremony played in fast motion, and next thing I knew, we were married.  Everyone else had left us alone in the church, and we were standing in the aisle next to the pews. 

Aaron was holding me in his arms and I was so happy to finally be his wife.  It was then, that I finally took a look at what my new husband was actually wearing.  And the smile was wiped off my face. 

You see, in reality, Aaron has already bought his suit for our wedding, and I have seen him wearing it.  If I may say, he looks incredibly handsome in it. 

However, in my dream, he was not wearing his debonair suit from the Express.

And no, he wasn’t naked for those who jumped to that conclusion. 

He was wearing the black pants and shoes.  That was not the problem.  It was his upper half. 

My husband had stood in front of all those people to marry me wearing a forest green shirt with a white collar, a purple striped tie, and a brown jacket. 

I. freaked. out.  I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed what he was wearing before.  I guess I was too happy and distracted by my love for him.  Something cheesy like that.  But, those feelings were gone now. 

I pushed him away.  “What are you wearing?!?!” 

He gave me a look of innocence.  “What? What’s wrong with it?” 

“Why aren’t you wearing your suit?!?!” 

“I am!”

“No, you’re not!  That is not your black suit!!” 

“Oh, yeah, I know.  I didn’t feel like wearing that today.  I wanted to wear this instead,” he said, acting like it was not a problem at all. 

I started to cry now.  I walked away from him and he started to follow me. 

“What’s wrong?  Why are you upset?”

 Now I was angry.  What did he mean “Why was I upset?” Was he stupid?! 

I turned to him, still crying.  “I am so mad at you, I don’t even know what to do with myself!!  How could you wear that to our wedding?!  We only get married once and you’re wearing that!!!  The pictures will be ruined and I’ll never be able to forget it!!  I can’t even describe to you how angry I am!” 

He continued to act like he had done absolutely nothing wrong or out of the ordinary.  “I don’t understand why you’re upset!” 

That made me even madder.  I was fuming.  I couldn’t even speak.  This was not the Aaron that I knew.  He hates brown and purple clothes.

 At this point, I started to become aware that I was having a dream.  It was strange.  I could feel myself getting so mad at Aaron, that I started to get a little nervous about what I would do to him.  I told myself in my head, “Just wake up and this could all be over.  It’s not real.  Please wake up!” 

After a small battle with the dream world, I finally forced my eyes open and sat up in bed.  My heart was pounding.  I took a drink of water and got up to use the bathroom so I could clear my head. 

Talk about a nightmare…I was glad that was over. 

So I thought, anyway… 

I laid back down and fell back to sleep easily knowing that none of that really happened. 

But, my dream continued.

It was now the day before the wedding, and my mom and I were on our way to a giant castle-mansion thing where everyone was spending the night before the ceremony the next day.  The castle happened to be off Exit 7 on 440 (Glenwood Avenue).  When we got to the bottom of the ramp, instead of turning towards the mall, we turned the other way.  The road turned to dust, and it started raining.  (Not quite sure why that was in my dream…) 

Anyway, when we got to the castle, we took our stuff inside, and I started to look for Aaron.  I wanted to tell him about my dream that I just had about his crazy wedding suit. 

I looked and looked in all the rooms but I could not find him anywhere.  I did run into all kinds of random people on my search… old youth pastors, cousins, my brother’s friends.  It seemed like everyone but Aaron was in the castle. 

After awhile, I had to stop looking for him because all of our guests were throwing a party for me and Aaron.  I had to get ready so I would not be late.  I decided to just tell him about my dream when I saw him at the party. 

However, when I walked in to the party, he was not there yet.  My whole graduating class from WCA was there instead. 

I said hi to people at the party as I continued to look for Aaron.  Now I was getting really annoyed with him because I could not find him to tell him about my dream where I was furious with him.  (Poor Aaron, he was just not on my good side at all…) 

I ran into my friend Ashley Hamilton, and she asked me what I was looking for. 

“I’m looking for Aaron because I want to tell him about a dream that I had.” 

“What was the dream about?” 

“Well, we got married and then I realized he was wearing a green shirt, a purple tie, and a brown jacket.  I got so mad at him.  But then I woke up because it was just a dream.” 

She started laughing hysterically.  “That is too funny!!”  She kept laughing as I walked away from her.  

I woke up again to the sound of her laughing. 

And when I woke up it was still too early to get out of bed.  Before I fell back asleep again, I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to tell Aaron about my dream where I got mad at him for what he wore to our wedding and then my dream where I was trying to tell him about my dream where I got mad at him but I couldn’t find him…” 

I drifted off to a dreamless sleep for the rest of the night. 

The End.

🙂

“I’d send a postcard to you, dear, ’cause I wish you were here…”

I just came back home on Tuesday after spending four days in Atlanta, Georgia at a conference called Passion.  It was a great time to get away from the organized chaos of life here in Raleigh.  I went with my wonderful friend, Amanda, and I loved having time to spend with her.  I also had a lot of much-needed time to be still and listen.  I felt like it was a breeze of calm before my last semester of college starts next week. 

Anyway, Amanda and I left for Atlanta on Saturday morning, and we came back home Tuesday afternoon.  I saw Aaron Saturday morning, and I saw him again on Tuesday when we got back.  So, if you’re tracking with me, that’s only two days, Sunday and Monday, that I did not see him at all.  As you all know, I’m new to the whole “fiancée” thing, but I never knew I could miss someone so much! 

Because we work together (and are very blessed to be able to do that), I see him every day of the week.  Before this past Saturday, I had seen him every day since the end of September.  That’s three straight months of seeing him every, single day.  Some people might think that we need to take a break from each other every once and awhile.  And, we do.  It’s not like I’m with him all day, every day.  Sometimes it’s just an hour or two.  Nonetheless, it’s still every day. 

And I love that.

Aaron is my absolute favorite person to be with.  I never get tired of being around him.  I don’t get annoyed with all of his crazy voices (not enough to want to be away from him at least 😉 ).  He’s my very best friend. 

So after three months of seeing him every day, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself in the very cold city of Atlanta. 

I had an amazing time, but everything I did, saw, heard, etc. made me think about him, and how my amazing trip would have been even better if he was there next to me.  My every other thought was about him.  My only consolation was that he missed me as much as I missed him.

I decided being away from him was sort of worth it though.  When we finally saw each other on Tuesday, we were both beside ourselves with joy.  I felt like I loved him even more on Tuesday than I did on Saturday.  And I loved him a lot on Saturday!  So that’s a big deal!  🙂

And, I told Aaron that the next time either of us goes out of town it will probably be together because it will most likely be our honeymoon…that’s crazy to think about!  That means the wedding is not far away at all now!  We actually counted the Fridays the other day…there are only 21 Fridays until we get married, not counting today or the day of the wedding!  That’s less than how old I am in Fridays!  It’s the legal drinking age in Fridays!  It’s less than a month in Fridays!  It’s only three weeks in Fridays!

How wonderfully overwhelming and exciting!! 🙂

P.S.  Title of this blog is lyrics from “Vanilla Twilight” by Owl City…lyrics that Aaron sent me while I was in Atlanta that made me cry and miss him even more…sweet boy…

Those Three Simple Words…

“I love you.”

Here’s the thing everyone.  Whitney and I started dating on November 2nd of 2008.  I didn’t say, “I love you” to her until February 13th, 2009.

Some people may think that’s crazy.  I’m not sure exactly of the time table in which you are supposed to say that.  Maybe it’s within a month.  Maybe two.  Some might say that if a guy doesn’t say it early on, you might as well drop him.  I’m not sure.  Perhaps those with more dating experience could weigh in.

I’ve only dated a handful of girls in my lifetime.  Never to one of them did I say, “I love you.”  In my mind, those words were on reserve.  To me, if I said those words then it meant “I’m committed to you, for life.”  So, I didn’t say them to anyone I dated in college.

But I knew in just a few weeks of dating Whitney Haight that she was it.  My search was over.  I could even say by mid-December of 2008 I knew she was the one.  But I still couldn’t bring myself to say it for a few more months.  I”m not sure as to why.  I guess, it was me overcoming my guard.

When we first started dating, I told Whitney what I had made myself believe to be true of me.  “I need a little space.  I like to go off by myself for a day every now and then.  I’m busy and need whoever I’m with to understand that.”  That’s a wall, a safe zone, I put up to not get “too close” to anyone I would ever date.  I always wanted an out, a way to say, “I told you this might be an issue” should there ever be one.

But by mid-December, that wall was gone.  There was no need for it any more.  I never wanted to be alone again, or have days where I needed to go off by myself.  She’s my best friend for sure, for life!

Anyway, we laugh about that now – about my “wall” – and how silly that whole idea was of me to even say.

We planned a day on Friday, February 13th to go to the beach.  We couldn’t go on Valentine’s Day because she was singing at Journey on Saturday.  It was a great day.  We went to the beach, cold, yes.  A lot happened that day, but the best thing was we were together and had a fantastic day.  That evening, after explaining a little more about myself, my flaws and defects, letting her know what she’d be in for if we kept this thing going, I told her.  I said, “I love you.” And she couldn’t wait to tell me the same.

Those words are sweet, and sacred.  And I like that I have shared them with my best friend for life.

February 13th, 2009